世界杯

Xiao Yue, starting tomorrow, I'm getting up at six every morning!

You? Leo, the king of sleeping in? Did the sun rise in the west?

Haha, because the World Cup is starting! I don't want to miss a single match!

So that's why! No wonder you've been grinning since you walked in.

Let's talk about the World Cup today, and teach everyone what Chinese fans say when they watch a match.

Great idea! But let me be clear first, I don't really know much about soccer.

No problem, I'll handle the soccer part. I've been watching for eighteen years, you know.

Deal. Then the Chinese part is still on me, haha.

Leo, first explain to people like me who don't follow soccer, what exactly is the World Cup?

Simply put, it's the highest-level soccer tournament in the world, and it only happens once every four years.

Once every four years? That's really rare.

Right. That's why every World Cup feels like New Year for fans all over the world.

Where is it being held this time?

In the United States, Canada and Mexico, three countries hosting it together.

Three countries hosting together? That's the first time I've heard of that.

Yeah, first time in history. And this time there are forty-eight teams, sixteen more than last time.

Wow, that must mean a ton of matches.

Over a hundred matches across more than a month. For fans, it's like a festival every single day.

More than a month? Are you even going to work this month?

Haha, I still have to work. Luckily, a lot of the matches are in the morning here in China.

Why the morning? Aren't matches usually played at night?

Because of the time difference. The matches are in the Americas, and their night is our morning.

Oh, right! When it gets dark over there, the sun is just coming up here.

So this time, Chinese fans don't have to stay up late every night. Just get up early to watch.

Getting up early to watch sounds way healthier than staying up all night.

But a few matches are in the middle of the night. For those, staying up is my only option.

No wonder you said you're getting up at six every day. It's all for the matches.

Yep, my alarms are already set. Three of them, all at once.

Three alarms? You're seriously scared of missing it.

Miss one World Cup match and you wait another four years. I can't afford that.

Leo, someone as crazy as you is what we call a die-hard fan in China.

An iron-rod fan? A rod made of iron?

Haha, it means you love something so, so much that you'll never change.

I see. Iron is hard and doesn't bend easily, so an iron rod means a heart that never changes.

Exactly, spot on! Die-hard soccer fans, die-hard fans of a star, it works for both.

Then I'm definitely a die-hard fan. I've been watching soccer since I was five.

Five? Could you even understand it back then?

Not at all. But whenever my dad yelled, I yelled along.

Haha, I can picture that instantly. Your dad's a fan too?

Yeah, my dad's a die-hard fan. Our family often watched matches together on weekends.

Then what do you call someone like me, who only tunes in for the fun once every four years?

This one I actually know. A fake fan, right?

Ugh, you got me. The first character literally means fake.

A fake fan is someone who never watches soccer normally, then suddenly shows up for the World Cup.

Yep, that's literally me, haha.

Honestly, there's nothing wrong with being a fake fan. The fun is better when everyone joins in.

That's a relief to hear. So do you watch matches live or watch replays?

Live, of course! Soccer has to be watched live.

Why? Isn't a replay just the same?

Totally different! By the time you watch a replay, you probably already know the result.

True. Once you know the result, there's no surprise left.

Exactly. The best part of soccer is that you never know what happens next.

Speaking of watching matches, do you like listening to the commentary?

The commentator, that's the person talking over the match while it's happening, right?

Right. Some commentators are super famous. When there's a goal, they scream louder than the fans.

Haha, British commentators are the same. One goal and my ears are practically blown out.

By the way, do you need to wear a jersey to watch? I see lots of fans wearing the same shirt.

That's the team kit. Putting on your team's kit is what makes you look like a real fan.

Do you have one?

Of course. I have three England kits, and tomorrow I'm wearing the newest one.

Haha, you're so well prepared. This must be that sense of ritual people talk about.

Exactly. If you're watching the World Cup, you've got to look the part!

Let me quiz you then. What do Chinese fans shout when there's a goal?

I know this one! It's in! It's in! It's in!

Haha, right. Once is not enough. You have to shout it three times in a row.

Why three times?

Because you're way too excited. One shout just isn't enough.

Fair enough. When your team scores, even ten times isn't enough.

When someone makes a great play, we shout: nice shot!

Nice shot! That one's easy. Got it.

And what if they're playing badly? Do you know what Chinese fans say?

Playing badly? Um, playing wickedly?

Haha, nope. We say: their playing stinks!

Stinks? Doesn't that word describe a bad smell?

It does, but here it means someone's skill is really bad.

That's so fun. Their playing stinks! I'll definitely get to use that one.

It's not just soccer. If someone's terrible at cards, you can say their card playing stinks too.

Got it. Stinky equals unskilled. I've learned another new word.

Here's another one. When a strong team loses to a weak team, we call that an upset.

An upset? In Chinese it's the character for explode plus the one for cold?

Right. Everyone thinks the strong team will surely win, but then they lose. That's an upset.

Why the character for cold?

Because the result is so unexpected, like someone suddenly dumping a bucket of cold water on you.

I see! In English we say upset, which also means something surprising.

There's another word related to upsets: dark horse.

Dark horse? A horse that's black?

Right. A dark horse is a team nobody rates at first, but they keep playing better and better.

Oh! English has it too. Dark horse, with exactly the same meaning!

Really? What a coincidence.

Actually, the Chinese term was probably borrowed from English.

Haha, that's how languages work. You borrow a word from me, I borrow one from you.

Oh right, there's one more word I really want to know. When you kick the ball into your own net, what's that called in Chinese?

Haha, that's called an oolong goal, an own goal.

Oolong? As in oolong tea?

Same characters, but here oolong means a mix-up, an embarrassing mistake.

So an own goal is a goal that makes everyone laugh?

You could put it that way. In daily life, when you mess something up, you can say you pulled an oolong.

Pulled an oolong. So if I mistake salt for sugar and put it in my coffee, that's pulling an oolong?

Exactly right! Your example makes it crystal clear.

Then I pull oolongs every single day, haha.

One more word, the one fans love and fear the most: the last-second killer goal.

A killer goal? That sounds intense.

It's a goal in the very last moment that decides the match in an instant.

Oh! That moment really drives you crazy. I've lived through it.

Fans on the losing end cry, and fans whose team scored jump out of their seats.

Yeah, your heart nearly leaps out of your chest. Last second, and the match is killed on the spot. The word couldn't be more accurate.

And then there's the penalty shootout. Even a fake fan like me finds it thrilling.

Penalty shootouts are the most nerve-racking thing in the world. I can never bring myself to watch.

You can't watch? Then what do you do?

I cover my eyes with my hands, then peek through my fingers.

Hahaha, that's still watching!

Can't help it. Not watching hurts, watching hurts even more. That's what being a fan is.

Oh right, Leo, I have one more question. It's been bottled up for years.

Go ahead.

What on earth is offside? Every time I watch a match, everyone around me keeps yelling offside!

Haha, that's the number one question for fake fans all over the world.

Stop laughing and explain.

Simply put, an attacker can't get behind the last defender before the ball does.

Wait, who gets behind whom?

Basically, you can't camp out at someone's door waiting for the ball.

Oh, so no sneaking a head start?

Exactly! No sneaking a head start! Your three little words explain it way better than I did.

Haha, looks like before you teach someone, you'd better understand it yourself first.

Don't worry. Watch one full World Cup and you'll just get it.

Leo, how do people watch soccer in the UK?

Mostly at the pub. A big crowd squeezed together, watching one big screen.

Watching at a pub, the atmosphere must be amazing, right?