理发

Hey everyone! Welcome to a new episode of Simply Natural Chinese! I'm Tian Tian!

Hey everyone, I'm A-Jie.

A-Jie, did you notice anything different about me today?

Let me see... did you get a haircut?

Yes! You actually noticed!

I did notice — don't get mad, but I think they cut off a bit too much.

Ugh, don't even mention it — I haven't wanted to leave the house these last couple of days.

Haha, then let's talk about haircuts today.

Perfect, I was just looking for someone to vent to.

So tell me — what exactly happened this time?

I just wanted a trim, to neaten things up a bit.

Mm, just a light trim, no major changes planned.

Right, I told the stylist "just cut however," don't make it too short.

I think I already know where this is going.

And when he finished, my hair was way shorter!

Haha, I knew it.

How did you know? I just froze right there in the chair.

Because "just cut however" — those four words are the most dangerous thing you can say in a salon.

Huh? It's just one phrase — is it really that bad?

You say "whatever," and the stylist really does whatever they want.

Oh my god, so I said the wrong thing?

Your haircut this time, in one word — it crashed and burned. We say "fanche."

Fanche — haha, that word fits me perfectly.

Originally it meant a car literally flipped over, but now everyone uses it for when something goes wrong.

And hair isn't like an exam — you can't just retake it if you mess up.

Right, if your hair crashes, all you can do is wait for it to grow back.

So now every time I look in the mirror I just want to sigh.

Then let's really get into it — why do haircuts go wrong so easily?

Yeah, every time I sit in that chair I get nervous.

The biggest problem comes down to one thing — communication.

Communication? But I was talking to him the whole time.

You talked, sure, but what you said was way too vague.

Vague? I thought I was being pretty clear.

Think about it — phrases like "a bit shorter," "a bit fresher," "a bit more natural."

Aren't those all totally normal requests?

Normal for you, but "a bit shorter" means something different to every stylist.

Now that you put it like that, that's actually true.

Your "a bit shorter" might be 2 cm, but his could be 5 cm.

5 cm? That's a huge chunk of hair gone!

So you can't just say "a bit shorter" — you have to spell out exactly how much.

But I don't really know the difference between 2 cm and 5 cm.

Then you can show with your hands — tell him, just cut up to here.

Showing with my hands — I like that, it's simple.

There's an even better way — photos.

Photos? You mean of my own hair right now?

No — pull up a hairstyle you like on your phone and just show it to the stylist.

Oh, that way he can tell at a glance what I want.

Exactly — one photo is worth a hundred sentences.

But what if mine doesn't end up looking like the photo?

Haha, well, that's a whole other issue.

Come on, spill it — don't keep me hanging.

The person in the photo — their hair thickness, face shape, hair color are all different from yours.

Speaking of which, I was born with thin hair — hair volume has always been my sore spot.

Right, the same cut looks really different on someone with thick hair vs. thin hair.

So even the exact same hairstyle ends up looking different on my head.

Exactly, so when you pick a reference photo, try to find someone with similar hair volume to you.

Got it, I'll remember that. Any other tips?

Yes — before they cut, make sure you say everything upfront.

"Saying it upfront" — meaning, get everything clear before they start cutting.

Right, once they start cutting, it's too late to say anything.

Because once hair is cut off, it doesn't just grow back instantly.

See? You already get it now.

Haha, this is wisdom I paid for with my hair.

By the way, do you know the joke nickname people use for hairdressers these days?

What do they call them?

A lot of people call them "Tony laoshi" — Teacher Tony.

Haha, Tony laoshi — I've seen that one online.

Because a lot of salons give their stylists English names — it sounds fancier.

The stylist at my salon really does go by "Kevin laoshi."

Haha, Kevin laoshi — same idea as Tony laoshi.

So now when you say "Tony laoshi," everyone knows you mean a hairdresser.

Right, and it's got a little bit of a teasing tone to it.

So fun — I had no idea salons came with their own slang.

Okay, we've covered communication — now let's talk about salon "taolu" — their playbook of tricks.

As soon as I hear "taolu," I know more money is about to come out of my wallet.

How much did this haircut cost you?

Not much — just the cut, 38 yuan.

That's cheap — you didn't do the whole "xi-jian-chui" combo, right?

I didn't do the whole combo — that's wash, cut, and blow-dry together.

Right — wash + cut + blow-dry all together is called "xi-jian-chui."

And how much does the full xi-jian-chui usually cost?

Cheap ones are a few dozen yuan, the expensive ones can run several hundred.

Same haircut — why such a huge price difference?

Because the people cutting your hair have different "tiers."

Tiers? Hairdressers are ranked by tier?

Of course — regular stylists are cheap, a "Director" tier costs way more.

Haha, "Director" — it sounds like a corporate board meeting.

Salons love using that word — it makes the stylist sound highly skilled and experienced.

So does the "Director" actually cut hair better?

Sometimes yes, sometimes it's just a fancier name and a higher price tag.

Then next time I'll definitely ask first, so I don't waste money.

There's an even bigger trick — "banka," getting you to buy a membership card.

Banka! I think you brought that up last time.

Right, salons absolutely love getting you to load money onto a card.

What's the usual pitch?

They'll say, load 500 yuan today, get 20% off, super good deal.

20% off — that does sound like a pretty good deal.

But think about it — how many haircuts do you get in a year?

I usually only go every two or three months.

Then if you load 500, you probably can't even use it all in a year.

Right, and having my money sitting there doesn't feel safe either.

And if that salon shuts down, you'll never get your money back.

Oh my god, that's such a loss.

So my advice is — just get this haircut first and decide later, don't get sold to the second you walk in.

But when they pitch me, I feel too awkward to say no.

That's exactly the effect they're going for.

So what's the best way to turn them down?

Super easy — just smile and say, I'll just do this cut for now, we'll talk next time.

That's it? I thought I'd need to come up with a bunch of reasons.

Don't over-explain — the more you explain, the more openings they have to push back.

Got it — be friendly but don't budge.

Right, and when they try to upsell you a perm or dye job, same trick.

They even pitch perms and hair color?

Of course — perms and color cost way more than a cut.

Speaking of dye, something just came back to me.

What did you remember?

A-Jie, didn't you dye your hair once before?

Haha, you actually remember that?

Of course I remember — I called you an old fogey, and you turned around and went straight to dye your hair.

Yeah, that time you got under my skin a little.

So how did you feel about it after?

Honestly, for a few days after I couldn't get used to it myself.

Was the color bad?

The color was fine — dyeing just takes forever, I sat in that chair for three hours.

Three hours?! I definitely couldn't sit still that long.

And afterward, my hair felt drier than before.

I remember telling you back then that dyeing damages your hair.

You were right — dye and perms both make your hair less healthy.

So did you ever dye it again after that?

Nope, once was enough — it's back to my original black now.

Haha, so you're back to being an old fogey then.

You could say that — but honestly, this feels the most comfortable to me.

What about perms? Are perms just as damaging?

Perms damage hair too, plus after, you spend a lot of time styling it every day.

"Dali toufa" — styling your hair — basically means having to spend time on it yourself every single day.