01甜甜ā阿jié杰 ，wǒ我zuó昨tiān天chà差diǎn点chuǎng闯le了gè个dà大huò祸 ，xiàn现zài在xiǎng想qǐ起lái来hái还hòu后pà怕 。A-Jie, I almost caused a disaster yesterday. It still gives me chills thinking about it.
02阿杰zěn怎me么le了 ？kàn看nǐ你zhè这biǎo表qíng情zhè这me么yán严zhòng重 。What happened? You look really shaken.
03甜甜wǒ我tóng同xué学de的nǎi奶nǎi奶xià下gè个yuè月guò过bā八shí十dà大shòu寿 ，wǒ我xiǎng想sòng送gè个tè特bié别de的lǐ礼wù物 ，zài在shāng商chǎng场kàn看zhòng中le了yī一gè个chāo超hǎo好kàn看de的zuò座zhōng钟 ，dōu都zhǔn准bèi备fù付qián钱le了 。My classmate's grandma turns eighty next month, and I wanted to give her something special. I spotted this gorgeous table clock at the mall and was about to pay for it.
04阿杰děng等děng等 ，nǐ你shuō说nǐ你yào要sòng送yī一gè个zhōng钟 ？hái还shì是sòng送gěi给yī一wèi位lǎo老rén人jiā家 ？Wait, you were going to give a clock? To an elderly person?
05甜甜duì对a啊 ，nà那gè个zhōng钟zhēn真de的hěn很jīng精zhì致 ，hái还shì是wǒ我zǎn攒le了hǎo好jiǔ久de的qián钱 。jié结guǒ果wǒ我mā妈dǎ打diàn电huà话lái来 ，yī一tīng听jiù就jí急le了 ，ràng让wǒ我qiān千wàn万bié别mǎi买 。Yeah, it was really elegant, and I'd been saving up for ages. Then my mom called, and the second she heard, she panicked and told me absolutely not to buy it.
06阿杰nǐ你mā妈lán拦de得tài太duì对le了 。tián甜tián甜 ，zài在zhōng中guó国 ，zhōng钟shì是wàn万wàn万bù不néng能dàng当lǐ礼wù物sòng送rén人de的 ，yóu尤qí其bù不néng能sòng送gěi给lǎo老rén人 。Your mom was so right to stop you. Tian Tian, in China you must never give a clock as a gift, especially not to an elderly person.
07甜甜a啊 ？zhōng钟yòu又hǎo好kàn看yòu又shí实yòng用 ，zěn怎me么jiù就bù不néng能sòng送le了 ？Huh? A clock is pretty and useful. Why can't you give one?
08阿杰yīn因wèi为sòng送zhōng钟zhè这liǎng两gè个zì字 ，tīng听qǐ起lái来gēn跟lìng另wài外liǎng两gè个zì字yī一mú模yī一yàng样 ，sòng送zhōng终 。Because the words for "giving a clock" sound exactly the same as the words for seeing someone off at the end of their life.
09甜甜sòng送zhōng终 ？nà那shì是shén什me么yì意sī思 ？Seeing someone off? What does that mean?
10阿杰sòng送zhōng终 ，jiù就shì是lǎo老rén人qù去shì世de的shí时hòu候 ，zi子nǚ女zài在páng旁biān边sòng送zǒu走tā他zuì最hòu后yī一chéng程 。nǐ你bǎ把zhōng钟sòng送gěi给yī一wèi位lǎo老rén人 ，jiù就hǎo好xiàng像zài在shuō说 ……It means being at an elder's side to see them off when they pass away. So giving a clock to an elderly person is basically like saying...
11甜甜a啊 ，wǒ我dǒng懂le了 ！zhè这yě也tài太xià吓rén人le了ba吧 ！xìng幸hǎo好wǒ我mā妈lán拦zhù住le了wǒ我 。Oh, I get it! That's terrifying! Thank goodness my mom stopped me.
12阿杰suǒ所yǐ以nǐ你kàn看 ，zài在zhōng中guó国sòng送lǐ礼 ，zhēn真de的shì是yī一mén门dà大xué学wèn问 。So you see, gift-giving in China is really a whole art.
13甜甜xué学wèn问 ？sòng送gè个dōng东xī西hái还néng能yǒu有duō多shǎo少jiǎng讲jiū究 ？wǒ我yī一zhí直yǐ以wéi为 ，lǐ礼wù物zhǐ只yào要guì贵 、zhǐ只yào要hǎo好kàn看 ，duì对fāng方jiù就yī一dìng定huì会xǐ喜huān欢 。An art? How complicated can giving something be? I always thought as long as a gift was expensive and pretty, people would love it.
14阿杰zhè这zhèng正shì是hěn很duō多rén人cǎi踩guò过de的kēng坑 。sòng送lǐ礼zhè这jiàn件shì事 ，guāng光yǒu有qián钱 、yǒu有xīn心hái还bù不gòu够 ，nǐ你hái还děi得dǒng懂lǐ里miàn面de的guī规jǔ矩 。sòng送cuò错le了 ，hǎo好xīn心yě也huì会bàn办huài坏shì事 。That's exactly the trap a lot of people fall into. With gifts, money and good intentions aren't enough, you have to know the unwritten rules. Give the wrong thing, and good intentions can backfire.
15甜甜nà那jīn今tiān天nǐ你kě可děi得hǎo好hǎo好jiāo教jiāo教wǒ我 ，wǒ我gǎn感jué觉wǒ我xiàng像shì是gāng刚dǎ打kāi开le了yī一gè个xīn新shì世jiè界de的dà大mén门 。Then you have to teach me everything today. I feel like I just opened the door to a whole new world.
16阿杰méi没wèn问tí题 。jīn今tiān天zán咱men们jiù就bǎ把zhōng中guó国rén人sòng送lǐ礼de的mén门dào道 ，cóng从tóu头dào到wěi尾lǚ捋yī一biàn遍 。xué学huì会le了 ，nǐ你yǐ以hòu后sòng送lǐ礼jué绝duì对bù不huì会zài再chū出cuò错 。No problem. Today we'll go through the ins and outs of Chinese gift-giving from start to finish. Once you've got it, you'll never mess up a gift again.
17甜甜tài太hǎo好le了 ！nà那wǒ我men们xiān先cóng从nǎ哪ér儿shuō说qǐ起 ？jiù就cóng从gāng刚cái才nà那gè个zhōng钟shuō说qǐ起ba吧 ，chú除le了zhōng钟 ，hái还yǒu有shén什me么dōng东xī西shì是bù不néng能sòng送de的 ？Great! So where do we start? Let's start with that clock. Besides clocks, what else can't you give?
18阿杰hǎo好 ，nà那wǒ我men们xiān先shuō说bù不néng能sòng送shén什me么 。zhè这lǐ里miàn面zuì最yǒu有yì意sī思de的yī一lèi类 ，jiào叫xié谐yīn音jìn禁jì忌 。Okay, let's start with what you can't give. The most interesting category is what's called homophone taboos.
19甜甜xié谐yīn音jìn禁jì忌 ？xié谐yīn音wǒ我zhī知dào道 ，jiù就shì是liǎng两gè个cí词dú读yīn音yī一yàng样huò或zhě者hěn很xiàng像 。jìn禁jì忌yòu又shì是shén什me么 ？Homophone taboos? I know homophones, two words that sound the same or very similar. But what's a taboo?
20阿杰jìn禁jì忌 ，jiù就shì是dà大jiā家mò默rèn认bù不néng能zuò做 、yào要bì避kāi开de的shì事qíng情 。xié谐yīn音jìn禁jì忌 ，jiù就shì是yīn因wèi为yī一yàng样dōng东xī西de的míng名zì字 ，tīng听qǐ起lái来xiàng像yī一gè个bù不jí吉lì利de的cí词 ，suǒ所yǐ以dà大jiā家jiù就bù不sòng送tā它 。A taboo is something everyone silently agrees you shouldn't do, something to avoid. A homophone taboo is when an item's name sounds like an unlucky word, so people just don't give it.
21甜甜yuán原lái来shì是zhè这yàng样 ！nà那chú除le了zhōng钟 ，hái还yǒu有nǎ哪xiē些 ？Oh, I see! So besides clocks, what else?
22阿杰bǐ比rú如shuō说 ，sǎn伞 。An umbrella, for example.
23甜甜sǎn伞 ？xià下yǔ雨tiān天sòng送rén人yī一bǎ把sǎn伞 ，duō多tiē贴xīn心a啊 ！An umbrella? Giving someone an umbrella on a rainy day is so thoughtful!
24阿杰tiē贴xīn心shì是tiē贴xīn心 ，dàn但sǎn伞tīng听qǐ起lái来xiàng像sàn散kāi开de的sàn散 。sàn散 ，jiù就shì是fēn分kāi开 、sàn散huǒ伙de的yì意sī思 。sòng送sǎn伞 ，jiù就hǎo好xiàng像zài在shuō说wǒ我men们liǎng两gè个yào要sàn散le了 。Thoughtful, sure, but "umbrella," san, sounds like san, meaning to break apart. San means to separate, to split up. So giving an umbrella is like saying the two of us are about to split.
25甜甜a啊 ，nà那tán谈liàn恋ài爱de的rén人kě可qiān千wàn万bù不néng能sòng送sǎn伞 ，nà那bù不shì是zì自jǐ己zhòu咒zì自jǐ己fēn分shǒu手ma嘛 。Oh, so couples definitely can't give umbrellas, that's like cursing yourselves to break up!
26阿杰méi没cuò错 。hái还yǒu有yī一gè个 ，nǐ你kěn肯dìng定xiǎng想bù不dào到 ，lí梨 。Exactly. And here's one you'd never guess, a pear.
27甜甜lí梨 ？jiù就shì是shuǐ水guǒ果nà那gè个lí梨ma吗 ？xiāng香xiāng香tián甜tián甜de的 ，zěn怎me么yě也bù不xíng行 ？A pear? Like the fruit? It's so sweet and fragrant, why not that either?
28阿杰shuǐ水guǒ果běn本shēn身méi没wèn问tí题 ，dàn但lí梨tīng听qǐ起lái来xiàng像fēn分lí离de的lí离 。tè特bié别shì是bù不néng能bǎ把yī一gè个lí梨qiè切chéng成liǎng两bàn半 ，fēn分gěi给liǎng两gè个rén人chī吃 。The fruit itself is fine, but "pear," li, sounds like li, meaning to part ways. And you especially can't cut one pear in half and share it between two people.
29甜甜fēn分zhe着chī吃yě也yǒu有jiǎng讲jiū究 ？Even sharing it is a thing?
30阿杰yīn因wèi为nà那jiù就jiào叫fēn分lí梨 ，tīng听qǐ起lái来zhèng正hǎo好shì是fēn分lí离 。qíng情lǚ侣 、fū夫qī妻 、hǎo好péng朋yǒu友zhī之jiān间 ，zuì最jì忌huì讳zhè这gè个 。Because that's called "splitting a pear," which sounds exactly like "splitting up." Couples, spouses, and close friends avoid it most of all.
31甜甜tiān天nà呐 ，wǒ我yǐ以qián前hái还jīng经cháng常gēn跟shì室yǒu友fēn分yī一gè个lí梨chī吃 ，yuán原lái来yī一zhí直zài在fàn犯jì忌huì讳 。Oh my gosh, I used to share a pear with my roommate all the time. Turns out I was breaking a taboo the whole time!
32阿杰hā哈hā哈 ，péng朋yǒu友zhī之jiān间dào倒yě也méi没nà那me么yán严zhòng重 ，dàn但nǐ你yào要shì是zhī知dào道le了 ，bì避kāi开jiù就gèng更hǎo好 。Haha, between friends it's not that serious, but now that you know, better to avoid it.
33甜甜nà那hái还yǒu有ma吗 ？wǒ我gǎn感jué觉wǒ我jīn今tiān天yào要bǎ把běn本zi子xiě写mǎn满le了 。Any more? I feel like I'm going to fill up a whole notebook today.
34阿杰hái还yǒu有xié鞋 。sòng送xié鞋xié谐yīn音xié邪qì气de的xié邪 ，ér而qiě且xié鞋shì是ràng让rén人zǒu走lù路de的 ，sòng送xié鞋hǎo好xiàng像zài在àn暗shì示duì对fāng方kuài快zǒu走ba吧 、bié别huí回lái来le了 。There's shoes too. "Shoes," xie, sounds like xie as in evil, and shoes are for walking away, so giving shoes hints that you want the person to leave and not come back.
35甜甜zhè这gè个wǒ我dǒng懂 ，jiù就shì是xī希wàng望nǐ你gǎn赶jǐn紧zǒu走de的yì意sī思 。nà那lǜ绿sè色de的mào帽zi子ne呢 ？wǒ我kàn看diàn电shì视lǐ里hǎo好xiàng像yě也bù不néng能sòng送 。That one I get, like "hurry up and go." What about a green hat? I've seen on TV that you can't give those either.
36阿杰hā哈hā哈 ，nǐ你zhè这gè个wèn问tí题wèn问dào到diǎn点zi子shàng上le了 。lǜ绿mào帽zi子què确shí实wàn万wàn万bù不néng能sòng送 ，yóu尤qí其bù不néng能sòng送gěi给nán男shēng生 。Haha, now you've hit the nail on the head. A green hat is an absolute no, especially for a guy.
37甜甜yí咦 ？lǜ绿sè色bù不shì是tǐng挺qīng清xīn新de的ma吗 ？Huh? Isn't green a nice, fresh color?
38阿杰yán颜sè色méi没wèn问tí题 ，dàn但gěi给nán男rén人dài戴lǜ绿mào帽zi子zhè这jù句huà话 ，zài在zhōng中guó国yǒu有yī一gè个tè特bié别de的yì意sī思 ，shì是shuō说zhè这gè个nán男rén人de的lìng另yī一bàn半 ，zài在wài外miàn面yǒu有le了bié别rén人 。The color's fine, but "putting a green hat on a man" has a special meaning in China. It means his partner is cheating on him.
39甜甜a啊 ？！nà那zhè这gè个wù误huì会kě可jiù就dà大le了 ，yǒu友yì谊de的xiǎo小chuán船shuō说fān翻jiù就fān翻 。What?! That's a huge misunderstanding waiting to happen. One gift and the friendship capsizes!
40阿杰duì对 ，zhè这zhǒng种wán玩xiào笑qiān千wàn万kāi开bù不de得 。Right, that's a joke you never want to make.
41甜甜nà那wǒ我jì记zhù住le了 ，lǜ绿mào帽zi子shì是jué绝duì对de的léi雷qū区 。hái还yǒu有bié别de的ma吗 ？Okay, noted, green hats are a total minefield. Anything else?
42阿杰hái还yǒu有yī一lèi类shì是dāo刀 、jiǎn剪dāo刀zhè这zhǒng种fēng锋lì利de的dōng东xī西 ，yě也zuì最hǎo好bié别sòng送 。There's another group, sharp things like knives and scissors. Best not to give those either.
43甜甜dāo刀bù不néng能sòng送 ？wǒ我hái还xiǎng想guò过sòng送wǒ我bà爸yī一bǎ把hǎo好yī一diǎn点de的guā刮hú胡dāo刀ne呢 。You can't give knives? I was actually thinking of getting my dad a nicer razor.
44阿杰dāo刀jiǎn剪dài代biǎo表yī一dāo刀liǎng两duàn断 ，hǎo好xiàng像yào要bǎ把guān关xì系qiè切duàn断yī一yàng样 。bù不guò过xiàn现zài在hěn很duō多rén人yě也méi没nà那me么zài在yì意le了 ，jiā家rén人zhī之jiān间sòng送bǎ把hǎo好tì剃xū须dāo刀 ，wèn问tí题bù不dà大 。Knives and scissors stand for cutting ties, like you're severing the relationship. But a lot of people don't mind so much anymore, a nice razor between family members is no big deal.
45甜甜nà那wǒ我jiù就fàng放xīn心le了 。duì对le了 ，nǐ你yī一zhí直shuō说zhōng钟bù不néng能sòng送 ，nà那shǒu手biǎo表ne呢 ？shǒu手biǎo表bù不yě也shì是kàn看shí时jiān间de的 ？That's a relief. Oh, you keep saying no clocks, but what about a watch? Isn't a watch also for telling time?
46阿杰wèn问de得hǎo好 ！shǒu手biǎo表yī一bān般jiù就méi没wèn问tí题 ，yīn因wèi为shǒu手biǎo表jiào叫biǎo表 ，bù不jiào叫zhōng钟 ，méi没yǒu有sòng送zhōng终nà那gè个xié谐yīn音 ，sòng送yī一kuài块hǎo好kàn看de的shǒu手biǎo表dà大duō多hěn很shòu受huān欢yíng迎 。bù不guò过yù遇dào到tè特bié别chuán传tǒng统de的zhǎng长bèi辈 ，yǒu有de的lǎo老rén人jiā家huì会jué觉de得shǒu手biǎo表yě也shì是kàn看shí时jiān间de的 ，xīn心lǐ里yǒu有diǎn点zài在yì意 ，suǒ所yǐ以hái还shì是kàn看duì对xiàng象 、kàn看guān关xì系 。Good question! A watch is usually fine, because it's called biao, not zhong, so there's no "seeing someone off" homophone, and a nice watch is often a very welcome gift. But with really traditional elders, some feel a watch also counts down time and mind it a little, so it depends on who it's for and how close you are.
47甜甜yuán原lái来chà差yī一gè个zì字 ，mìng命yùn运wán完quán全bù不tóng同 ，zhōng中wén文tài太shén神qí奇le了 。So one different word changes everything. Chinese is amazing.
48阿杰suǒ所yǐ以nǐ你kàn看 ，sòng送lǐ礼zhī之qián前 ，yī一dìng定yào要xiān先zài在nǎo脑zi子lǐ里guò过yī一biàn遍 ，zhè这gè个dōng东xī西de的míng名zì字 ，huì会bù不huì会ràng让rén人wǎng往huài坏chù处xiǎng想 。So before giving a gift, you always run the name through your head first: could it make someone think of something bad?
49甜甜hǎo好 ，bù不néng能sòng送de的wǒ我dōu都xué学huì会le了 。nà那néng能sòng送de的ne呢 ？zǒng总yǒu有dà大jiā家dōu都ài爱sòng送de的ba吧 ？Okay, I've got the don'ts down. What about the do's? There must be something everyone loves to give.
50阿杰dāng当rán然yǒu有 ，zuì最wàn万néng能de的jiù就shì是hóng红bāo包 。Of course, the most foolproof one is the hongbao, a red envelope with money inside.
51甜甜hóng红bāo包wǒ我zhī知dào道 ！guò过nián年de的shí时hòu候zhǎng长bèi辈gěi给xiǎo小hái孩de的nà那gè个 ，hóng红sè色de的dài袋zi子 ，lǐ里miàn面zhuāng装qián钱 。I know hongbao! The red envelopes elders give kids at New Year, with money inside.
52阿杰duì对 ，dàn但hóng红bāo包de的yòng用chù处bǐ比nǐ你xiǎng想de的duō多 。guò过nián年 、jié结hūn婚 、shēng生xiǎo小hái孩 、lǎo老rén人guò过shòu寿 ，dōu都kě可yǐ以bāo包hóng红bāo包 。ér而qiě且zhè这lǐ里miàn面 ，shù数zì字yě也yǒu有jiǎng讲jiū究 。Right, but they're used for way more than that. New Year, weddings, new babies, an elder's birthday, you can give a hongbao for all of them. And the amount matters too.
53甜甜shù数zì字hái还yǒu有jiǎng讲jiū究 ？gěi给duō多shǎo少qián钱bù不shì是zì自jǐ己kàn看zhe着bàn办ma吗 ？The number matters? Don't you just decide the amount yourself?
54阿杰jīn金é额kě可yǐ以zì自jǐ己dìng定 ，dàn但yǒu有jǐ几gè个shù数zì字yào要tè特bié别zhù注yì意 。dì第yī一 ，qiān千wàn万bié别bāo包dài带sì四de的 。You set the amount, but watch out for a few numbers. First, never include a four.
55甜甜wèi为shén什me么bù不néng能yǒu有sì四 ？Why not a four?
56阿杰yīn因wèi为sì四tīng听qǐ起lái来xiàng像sǐ死 。nǐ你bāo包gè个sì四bǎi百 、sì四shí十 ，duì对fāng方xīn心lǐ里kěn肯dìng定bù不shū舒fú服 。Because "four," si, sounds like "death." Give four hundred or forty, and the person will definitely feel uneasy.
57甜甜yòu又shì是xié谐yīn音 ！nà那shén什me么shù数zì字zuì最shòu受huān欢yíng迎 ？Homophones again! So which numbers are the most popular?
58阿杰dà大jiā家zuì最xǐ喜huān欢liù六hé和bā八 。liù六shì是liù六liù六dà大shùn顺 ，zuò做shén什me么dōu都shùn顺lì利 ；bā八tīng听qǐ起lái来xiàng像fā发cái财de的fā发 。suǒ所yǐ以nǐ你jīng经cháng常kàn看dào到liù六bǎi百 、bā八bǎi百 、liù六bǎi百liù六 、bā八bǎi百bā八 。People love six and eight. Six stands for everything going smoothly, and eight sounds like the word for getting rich. That's why you often see amounts like 600, 800, 660, or 880.
59甜甜yuán原lái来shù数zì字lǐ里hái还cáng藏zhe着zhè这me么duō多hǎo好huà话 。nà那wǒ我yào要shì是gěi给péng朋yǒu友bāo包hóng红bāo包 ，néng能bù不néng能wán玩diǎn点huā花yàng样 ？So there are all these good wishes hidden in the numbers! If I give a friend a hongbao, can I get a little creative?
60阿杰dāng当rán然kě可yǐ以 ，nián年qīng轻rén人xiàn现zài在tè特bié别ài爱wán玩shù数zì字 。bǐ比rú如wǔ五bǎi百èr二shí十 ，xié谐yīn音wǒ我ài爱nǐ你 ；hái还yǒu有yī一qiān千sān三bǎi百yī一shí十sì四 ，xié谐yīn音yī一shēng生yī一shì世 。Absolutely, young people love playing with numbers now. For example, 520 sounds like "I love you," and 1314 sounds like "forever and ever."
61甜甜wa哇 ，yī一qiān千sān三bǎi百yī一shí十sì四shì是yī一shēng生yī一shì世 ！zhè这gè个tài太làng浪màn漫le了 ，wǒ我yào要jì记xià下lái来 。Wow, 1314 means "forever and ever"! That's so romantic, I'm writing that down.
62阿杰hā哈hā哈 ，bù不guò过zhè这zhǒng种yī一bān般shì是qíng情lǚ侣zhī之jiān间 ，huò或zhě者guān关xì系tè特bié别hǎo好de的péng朋yǒu友cái才zhè这me么bāo包 。Haha, but usually only couples or really close friends give amounts like that.
63甜甜míng明bái白 。duì对le了 ，wēi微xìn信hóng红bāo包hǎo好xiàng像zuì最duō多zhǐ只néng能fā发liǎng两bǎi百kuài块 ？Got it. Oh, and I heard a WeChat red packet can only be up to two hundred yuan?
64阿杰méi没cuò错 ，wēi微xìn信dān单gè个hóng红bāo包shàng上xiàn限shì是liǎng两bǎi百kuài块 ，suǒ所yǐ以yào要fā发gèng更duō多 ，děi得yòng用zhuǎn转zhàng账 ，huò或zhě者yī一cì次fā发hǎo好jǐ几gè个hóng红bāo包còu凑 。zhè这yě也shì是nián年qīng轻rén人cháng常yòng用de的xiǎo小jì技qiǎo巧 。That's right, a single WeChat packet maxes out at two hundred, so to send more you use a transfer or send several packets at once to make it up. That's a little trick young people use all the time.
65甜甜xué学dào到le了 。nà那nǐ你gāng刚cái才shuō说jié结hūn婚yě也bāo包hóng红bāo包 ，zhè这gè个wǒ我tīng听shuō说guò过yī一gè个cí词 ，jiào叫 ……fèn份zi子qián钱 ？Good to know. You mentioned weddings earlier, I've heard a word for that, is it... fenziqian?
66阿杰duì对 ，fèn份zi子qián钱 。jiù就shì是bié别rén人jié结hūn婚 ，nǐ你qù去cān参jiā加hūn婚lǐ礼 ，yào要gěi给xīn新rén人de的nà那bǐ笔qián钱 。Yes, fenziqian, the cash you give the couple when you attend someone's wedding.
67甜甜nà那zhè这gè个yī一bān般gěi给duō多shǎo少ya呀 ？wǒ我xià下gè个yuè月jiù就yào要cān参jiā加wǒ我biǎo表jiě姐de的hūn婚lǐ礼le了 ，zhèng正fā发chóu愁ne呢 。How much do you usually give? I've got my cousin's wedding next month and I'm already stressing about it.
68阿杰zhè这gè个yào要kàn看guān关xì系yuǎn远jìn近 ，hái还yǒu有dāng当dì地dà大jiā家yī一bān般gěi给duō多shǎo少 。guān关xì系yī一bān般de的tóng同shì事péng朋yǒu友 ，kě可néng能liǎng两sān三bǎi百 、wǔ五liù六bǎi百 ；guān关xì系hěn很jìn近de的 ，xiàng像nǐ你biǎo表jiě姐 ，kě可néng能jiù就yào要bāo包shàng上yī一qiān千 ，shèn甚zhì至gèng更duō多 。It depends on how close you are and what's normal where you live. For a casual coworker or friend, maybe two or three hundred, or five or six hundred; for someone close like your cousin, it could be a thousand or even more.
69甜甜zhè这me么duō多 ？nà那duì对wǒ我men们xué学shēng生lái来shuō说yā压lì力hǎo好dà大ya呀 。That much? That's a lot of pressure for us students.
70阿杰suǒ所yǐ以fèn份zi子qián钱xiàn现zài在yě也bèi被nián年qīng轻rén人tǔ吐cáo槽 ，shuō说shì是tián甜mì蜜de的fù负dān担 。nǐ你suí随chū出qù去de的qián钱 ，qí其shí实dà大jiā家xīn心lǐ里dōu都jì记zhe着 ，děng等nǐ你yǐ以hòu后jié结hūn婚 ，tā他men们zài再suí随huí回lái来 ，zhè这jiù就jiào叫lǐ礼shàng尚wǎng往lái来 。That's why young people jokingly call fenziqian a "sweet burden." The money you give out is actually remembered, and when you get married someday, they give it back. That's what we call reciprocity.
71甜甜nà那fèn份zi子qián钱yǒu有méi没yǒu有dān单shù数shuāng双shù数de的jiǎng讲jiū究 ？Is there a thing about odd versus even amounts?
72阿杰yǒu有 ！xǐ喜shì事jiǎng讲jiū究hǎo好shì事chéng成shuāng双 ，suǒ所yǐ以jié结hūn婚de的hóng红bāo包yī一bān般yòng用shuāng双shù数 ，bǐ比rú如liù六bǎi百 、bā八bǎi百 、yī一qiān千 。dàn但bái白shì事 ，yě也jiù就shì是sāng丧shì事 ，jiù就yào要yòng用dān单shù数 。There is! Happy occasions call for "good things come in pairs," so wedding money is usually an even number, like 600, 800, or 1,000. But for a funeral, you use an odd number.
73甜甜zhè这gè个yī一dìng定yào要fēn分qīng清chǔ楚 ，kě可qiān千wàn万bié别gǎo搞fǎn反le了 。You definitely have to keep those straight, you can't get them backwards!
74甜甜nǐ你gāng刚cái才shuō说de的nà那gè个lǐ礼shàng尚wǎng往lái来 ，wǒ我tóu头yī一huí回tīng听 ，néng能gěi给wǒ我chāi拆kāi开jiǎng讲jiǎng讲ma吗 ？That reciprocity thing you just mentioned, I've never heard it before. Can you break it down for me?
75阿杰chāi拆kāi开kàn看jiù就hǎo好dǒng懂le了 。lǐ礼shì是lǐ礼wù物 ，wǎng往lái来jiù就shì是nǐ你lái来wǒ我wǎng往 。yì意sī思shì是 ，bié别rén人sòng送le了nǐ你 ，nǐ你xià下cì次yī一dìng定yào要huí回lǐ礼 ；bié别rén人qǐng请le了nǐ你 ，nǐ你yě也yào要zhǎo找jī机huì会qǐng请huí回lái来 。It's easy once you break it apart. "Li" is a gift, and "wanglai" is give-and-take. It means when someone gives you something, you have to give back next time; when someone treats you, you find a chance to treat them back.
76甜甜suǒ所yǐ以bù不néng能zhǐ只shōu收bù不sòng送 ？So you can't just take and never give?
77阿杰duì对 ，guāng光shōu收bù不sòng送kě可bù不xíng行 。nǐ你yào要shì是zhǐ只shōu收lǐ礼 、cóng从lái来bù不huí回lǐ礼 ，shí时jiān间yī一cháng长 ，màn慢màn慢jiù就méi没rén人yuàn愿yì意sòng送nǐ你le了 。Right, taking without giving won't fly. If you only ever accept gifts and never reciprocate, over time people slowly stop wanting to give to you.
78甜甜nà那huí回lǐ礼yǒu有shén什me么jiǎng讲jiū究ma吗 ？Is there an art to giving back too?
79阿杰yǒu有yī一tiáo条yào要jì记zhù住 ，huí回lǐ礼de的dàng档cì次bié别chà差tài太duō多 。rén人jiā家sòng送nǐ你bā八bǎi百de的 ，nǐ你huí回gè个jǐ几shí十kuài块de的 ，fǎn反ér而xiǎn显de得xiǎo小qì气 ；dāng当rán然yě也bù不yòng用fēi非děi得bǐ比duì对fāng方guì贵 ，xīn心yì意dào到le了jiù就xíng行 。One rule to remember: don't let the value of your return gift be too far off. If someone gives you eight hundred and you give back a few dozen, it comes off as stingy. But you don't have to outspend them either, as long as the thought is there, it's fine.
80甜甜yuán原lái来sòng送lǐ礼bù不zhǐ只shì是sòng送dōng东xī西 ，shì是zài在wéi维hù护guān关xì系 。nà那shōu收dào到lǐ礼wù物de的shí时hòu候 ，wǒ我dāng当chǎng场yào要zěn怎me么fǎn反yīng应ne呢 ？So gift-giving isn't just handing over stuff, it's maintaining relationships. When I receive a gift, how should I react in the moment?
81阿杰zhè这jiù就yào要shuō说dào到kè客tào套huà话le了 。bié别rén人sòng送nǐ你dōng东xī西 ，nǐ你bù不néng能zhí直jiē接shuō说xiè谢xiè谢wǒ我shōu收xià下le了 ，nà那yàng样xiǎn显de得tài太jiàn见wài外 。That brings us to polite phrases. When someone gives you something, you can't just say "thanks, I'll take it," that seems too distant.
83阿杰jiàn见wài外 ，jiù就shì是bǎ把duì对fāng方dàng当wài外rén人 ，tài太kè客qì气 、tài太shēng生shū疏 。zhè这shí时hòu候nǐ你yào要xiān先tuī推yī一xià下 ，shuō说 ，āi哎ya呀 ，lái来jiù就lái来ma嘛 ，hái还dài带shén什me么dōng东xī西 ，huò或zhě者tài太pò破fèi费le了 、ràng让nǐ你huā花qián钱le了 。"Jianwai" means treating someone like an outsider, too formal, too cold. So first you gently push it back, saying something like, "Oh, you came, you didn't need to bring anything!" or "You really shouldn't have spent the money!"
84甜甜pò破fèi费yòu又shì是shén什me么yì意sī思 ？And what does "pofei" mean?
85阿杰pò破fèi费 ，jiù就shì是ràng让duì对fāng方huā花le了qián钱 、pò破le了cái财 ，shì是yī一zhǒng种kè客qì气de的shuō说fǎ法 。nǐ你shuō说ràng让nǐ你pò破fèi费le了 ，yì意sī思jiù就shì是āi哎ya呀hái还ràng让nǐ你huā花qián钱 ，zhēn真bù不hǎo好yì意sī思 。"Pofei" means making someone spend their money, it's a polite expression. Saying "you shouldn't have spent so much" is a way of saying, "Oh, I feel bad that you spent money on me."
86甜甜zhè这yě也tài太fù复zá杂le了ba吧 ！míng明míng明xīn心lǐ里hěn很gāo高xīng兴 ，zuǐ嘴shàng上hái还yào要xiān先tuī推cí辞 。This is so complicated! You're actually thrilled inside, but you still have to turn it down first.
87阿杰hā哈hā哈 ，zhè这jiù就shì是zhōng中guó国shì式de的hán含xù蓄 ，xiǎng想shuō说de的huà话bù不zhí直jiē接shuō说chū出lái来 ，rào绕gè个wān弯 。nǐ你zuǐ嘴shàng上tuī推 ，shǒu手lǐ里qí其shí实shì是shōu收xià下de的 。duì对fāng方ne呢 ，yě也huì会kè客qì气de地shuō说yī一diǎn点xiǎo小yì意sī思 、bié别xián嫌shǎo少 ，dà大jiā家xīn心lǐ里dōu都míng明bái白 ，shuí谁yě也bù不diǎn点pò破 。Haha, that's Chinese-style reserve. You don't say what you mean directly, you go around it. Your mouth refuses while your hands are already taking it. And the giver says, "It's just a little something, don't mind that it's small." Everyone knows what's going on, and nobody spells it out.
88甜甜suǒ所yǐ以jiù就suàn算sòng送le了hěn很guì贵de的dōng东xī西 ，zuǐ嘴shàng上yě也yào要shuō说chéng成yī一diǎn点xiǎo小yì意sī思 ？So even if you gave something really expensive, you still call it "just a little something"?
89阿杰duì对 ，zhè这jiào叫qiān谦xū虚 。nǎ哪pà怕nǐ你sòng送de的shì是yī一píng瓶hǎo好jiǔ酒 ，yě也yào要shuō说de得qīng轻qīng轻sōng松sōng松 ，jiù就shuō说yī一diǎn点xiǎo小dōng东xī西 、bié别xián嫌qì弃 。zhè这yàng样duì对fāng方shōu收de得yě也méi没yǒu有yā压lì力 。Right, that's modesty. Even if you're giving a fine bottle of liquor, you keep it casual and say, "just a little something, hope you don't mind." That way the other person feels no pressure taking it.
90甜甜wǒ我fā发xiàn现zhōng中guó国rén人sòng送lǐ礼 ，yī一bàn半shì是sòng送dōng东xī西 ，yī一bàn半shì是shuō说huà话de的yì艺shù术 。I'm realizing Chinese gift-giving is half about the gift and half about the art of what you say.
91甜甜nà那bù不tóng同de的rén人 、bù不tóng同de的chǎng场hé合 ，sòng送de的lǐ礼wù物yīng应gāi该yě也bù不yī一yàng样ba吧 ？So the gift changes depending on the person and the occasion, right?
92阿杰nà那dāng当rán然 。sòng送lǐ礼de的duì对xiàng象bù不yī一yàng样 ，lǐ礼wù物chā差bié别hěn很dà大 。bǐ比rú如nǐ你qù去kàn看wàng望shēng生bìng病de的rén人 ，jiù就jué绝duì对bù不néng能sòng送zhōng钟 ，yě也bié别sòng送yī一dà大pén盆huā花bǎi摆zài在wū屋lǐ里 。Of course. The gift varies a lot depending on who it's for. For example, when you visit someone who's sick, you absolutely can't give a clock, and don't put a big pot of flowers in their room either.
93甜甜huā花yě也bù不xíng行 ？huā花bù不shì是hěn很hǎo好kàn看ma吗 ？Not even flowers? Aren't flowers lovely?
94阿杰kàn看bìng病rén人sòng送huā花kě可yǐ以 ，dàn但yào要zhù注yì意yán颜sè色hé和zhǒng种lèi类 ，bié别sòng送nà那zhǒng种yī一dà大piàn片bái白sè色de的huā花 ，yīn因wèi为bái白huā花róng容yì易ràng让rén人lián联xiǎng想dào到sāng丧shì事 。sòng送yī一xiǎo小shù束yán颜sè色xiān鲜yàn艳de的 ，huò或zhě者gān干cuì脆sòng送diǎn点shuǐ水guǒ果 、yíng营yǎng养pǐn品 ，gèng更wěn稳tuǒ妥 。Flowers for a patient are okay, but mind the color and type. Don't give a big bunch of white flowers, because white ones make people think of funerals. A small, brightly colored bouquet, or just some fruit or health supplements, is safer.
95甜甜dǒng懂le了 ，kàn看bìng病yào要sòng送ràng让rén人gāo高xīng兴 、yǒu有jīng精shén神de的dōng东xī西 。nà那qù去bié别rén人jiā家zuò做kè客ne呢 ？Got it, for a sick visit bring something cheerful and uplifting. What about visiting someone's home?
96阿杰qù去bié别rén人jiā家zuò做kè客 ，zuì最hǎo好bié别kōng空shǒu手qù去 ，zhè这jiào叫kōng空shǒu手bù不dēng登mén门 。dài带diǎn点shuǐ水guǒ果 、dài带hé盒diǎn点xīn心 、dài带píng瓶hǎo好jiǔ酒 ，dōu都hěn很hé合shì适 。When you're a guest at someone's home, it's best not to show up empty-handed, there's a saying, "don't come to the door empty-handed." Some fruit, a box of pastries, or a nice bottle of wine all work well.
97甜甜kōng空shǒu手bù不dēng登mén门 ，jiù就shì是bù不néng能liǎng两shǒu手kōng空kōng空de地shàng上mén门 。nà那yào要shì是qù去cān参jiā加péng朋yǒu友de的qiáo乔qiān迁 ，jiù就shì是bān搬xīn新jiā家ne呢 ？"Don't come to the door empty-handed," so you can't show up with nothing. What if I'm going to a friend's housewarming, when they move into a new place?
98阿杰bān搬xīn新jiā家kě可yǐ以sòng送lǜ绿zhí植 、sòng送hǎo好kàn看de的bǎi摆jiàn件 ，tú图gè个xīn新jiā家xīng兴wàng旺 。dàn但jì记zhù住 ，hái还shì是bié别sòng送zhōng钟 、bié别sòng送xié鞋 。For a new home you can give a green plant or a nice decoration, to wish the place prosperity. But remember, still no clocks and no shoes.
99甜甜hā哈hā哈 ，gǎn感jué觉zhōng钟hé和xié鞋yǐ已jīng经bèi被nǐ你lā拉jìn进hēi黑míng名dān单le了 。nà那 ……sòng送lǐng领dǎo导ne呢 ？wǒ我yǐ以hòu后gōng工zuò作le了kěn肯dìng定yòng用de得shàng上 。Haha, clocks and shoes are officially on your blacklist. So... what about giving something to your boss? I'll definitely need that once I'm working.
100阿杰zhè这gè个jiù就gèng更jiǎng讲jiū究le了 。wǒ我zài在shàng上hǎi海shàng上bān班 ，féng逢nián年guò过jié节yě也huì会yù遇dào到zhè这zhǒng种qíng情kuàng况 。sòng送lǐng领dǎo导zuì最nán难de的shì是nà那gè个dù度 ：sòng送tài太pián便yi宜 ，xiǎn显de得nǐ你bù不zhòng重shì视 ；sòng送tài太guì贵ne呢 ，yòu又xiàng像zài在tǎo讨hǎo好 ，jiù就shì是gù故yì意pāi拍mǎ马pì屁 ；shèn甚zhì至xiàng像zài在yòng用qián钱shōu收mǎi买tā他 ，duì对fāng方fǎn反ér而bù不gǎn敢shōu收 。That one's even trickier. I work in Shanghai, so I run into this around the holidays. The hardest part with a boss is the balance: too cheap and it looks like you don't care; too expensive and it looks like you're sucking up, deliberately flattering them, or even trying to buy them off, and then they won't dare accept it.
101甜甜nà那dào到dǐ底yào要sòng送shén什me么cái才hé合shì适 ？So what's actually appropriate to give?
102阿杰yī一bān般sòng送xiē些hé合shì适yòu又bù不kuā夸zhāng张de的 ，bǐ比rú如jiā家xiāng乡de的tǔ土tè特chǎn产 、yī一hé盒hǎo好chá茶 。jì既biǎo表dá达le了xīn心yì意 ，yòu又bù不huì会ràng让duì对fāng方yǒu有fù负dān担 。jì记zhù住 ，sòng送lǐng领dǎo导zhòng重diǎn点bù不shì是guì贵 ，shì是hé合shì适 。Usually something appropriate and not over-the-top, like a local specialty from your hometown or a nice box of tea. It shows you care without putting them in an awkward spot. Remember, with a boss the point isn't expensive, it's appropriate.
103甜甜tǔ土tè特chǎn产zhè这gè个hǎo好 ，jì既yǒu有xīn心yì意 ，yòu又bù不huì会tài太guì贵 ，hái还néng能liáo聊liáo聊jiā家xiāng乡 ，yī一jǔ举sān三dé得 。A local specialty is great, it's thoughtful, not too pricey, and gives you something to chat about from home. Three birds with one stone.
104阿杰nǐ你kàn看 ，nǐ你yǐ已jīng经kāi开shǐ始shàng上dào道le了 。See? You're already getting the hang of it.
105甜甜ā阿jié杰 ，nǐ你sòng送lǐ礼zhè这me么dǒng懂 ，nà那nǐ你zì自jǐ己yǒu有méi没yǒu有fān翻guò过chē车 ？wǒ我jiù就bù不xìn信nǐ你méi没sòng送cuò错guò过 。A-Jie, you know so much about gifts, have you ever messed one up yourself? I don't believe you've never gotten it wrong.
106阿杰hái还zhēn真yǒu有 。wǒ我gāng刚gōng工zuò作dì第yī一nián年 ，guò过nián年xiǎng想gěi给yī一wèi位zhǎng长bèi辈bài拜nián年 ，tè特yì意tiāo挑le了yī一hé盒hěn很guì贵de的jìn进kǒu口qiǎo巧kè克lì力 ，bāo包zhuāng装tè特bié别jīng精měi美 。Actually, yeah. My first year working, I wanted to pay a New Year visit to an elder, so I specially picked out an expensive box of imported chocolates with really fancy packaging.
107甜甜qiǎo巧kè克lì力zěn怎me么le了 ？qiǎo巧kè克lì力yīng应gāi该méi没shén什me么jì忌huì讳ba吧 ？What's wrong with chocolate? There aren't any taboos around chocolate, are there?
108阿杰qiǎo巧kè克lì力běn本shēn身méi没wèn问tí题 ，wèn问tí题shì是nà那wèi位zhǎng长bèi辈yǒu有táng糖niào尿bìng病 ，bù不néng能chī吃tián甜de的 。wǒ我guāng光gù顾zhe着tiāo挑guì贵de的 、hǎo好kàn看de的 ，wán完quán全méi没kǎo考lǜ虑duì对fāng方de的qíng情kuàng况 。Chocolate itself is fine, the problem was that this elder had diabetes and couldn't eat sweets. I was so focused on picking something expensive and good-looking that I completely forgot to consider their situation.
109甜甜a啊 ，nà那jiù就gān尴gà尬le了 ，rén人jiā家shōu收yě也bù不shì是 ，bù不shōu收yě也bù不shì是 。Oh, how awkward, they can't really accept it or refuse it.
110阿杰duì对 ，zhǎng长bèi辈dāng当shí时xiào笑zhe着shōu收xià下le了 ，hòu后lái来wǒ我cái才zhī知dào道tā他zhuǎn转shǒu手jiù就sòng送gěi给bié别rén人le了 。cóng从nà那yǐ以hòu后wǒ我jiù就míng明bái白 ，sòng送lǐ礼zuì最zhòng重yào要de的 ，shì是zhàn站zài在duì对fāng方de的jiǎo角dù度xiǎng想 。Right, the elder smiled and took it at the time, but I later found out they immediately regifted it to someone else. That's when I learned the most important thing about gifts: put yourself in the other person's shoes.
111甜甜zhàn站zài在duì对fāng方jiǎo角dù度 ……suǒ所yǐ以sòng送lǐ礼zhī之qián前 ，děi得xiān先xiǎng想xiǎng想duì对fāng方shì是shuí谁 、xū需yào要shén什me么 、yǒu有shén什me么jì忌huì讳 。Put yourself in their shoes... so before giving, you first think about who they are, what they need, and what taboos they have.
112阿杰wán完quán全zhèng正què确 。sòng送lǐ礼sòng送de的bù不shì是dōng东xī西 ，shì是nǐ你yǒu有méi没yǒu有bǎ把duì对fāng方fàng放zài在xīn心shàng上 。Exactly. A gift isn't really about the object, it's about whether you've kept the other person in mind.
113甜甜zhè这jù句huà话wǒ我děi得jì记zài在xiǎo小běn本běn本shàng上 。nà那wǒ我yě也shuō说yī一gè个 ，wǒ我shàng上cì次gěi给shì室yǒu友guò过shēng生rì日 ，sòng送le了tā她yī一zhī支kǒu口hóng红 ，jié结guǒ果nà那gè个yán颜sè色tā她yī一diǎn点dōu都bù不xǐ喜huān欢 ，gān尴gà尬le了hǎo好jǐ几tiān天 。I have to write that one in my little notebook. Let me share one too. Last time it was my roommate's birthday, I gave her a lipstick, and she didn't like the color at all. It was awkward for days.
114阿杰hā哈hā哈 ，kǒu口hóng红 、xiāng香shuǐ水zhè这zhǒng种tài太gè个rén人de的dōng东xī西 ，què确shí实bù不hǎo好sòng送 ，chú除fēi非nǐ你tè特bié别liǎo了jiě解duì对fāng方de的xǐ喜hào好 。Haha, personal things like lipstick and perfume really are hard to give, unless you know the person's tastes really well.
115甜甜zhè这huí回wǒ我kě可zhǎng长jì记xìng性le了 。kàn看lái来sòng送lǐ礼zhēn真de的chù处chù处shì是xué学wèn问 。This time the lesson really stuck. Gift-giving really is full of little rules everywhere.
116甜甜bù不guò过ā阿jié杰 ，wǒ我yǒu有gè个gǎn感jué觉 ，wǒ我men们nián年qīng轻rén人sòng送lǐ礼 ，hǎo好xiàng像méi没yǒu有zhǎng长bèi辈nà那me么duō多jiǎng讲jiū究le了 ？But A-Jie, I have a feeling us younger people don't have as many rules about gifts as the older generation, right?
117阿杰nǐ你zhè这gè个guān观chá察hěn很zhǔn准 ，zhè这jiù就shì是liǎng两dài代rén人de的chā差bié别 。lǎo老yī一bèi辈sòng送lǐ礼 ，tè特bié别kàn看zhòng重miàn面zi子hé和guī规jǔ矩 ，lǐ礼yào要zhòng重 、bāo包zhuāng装yào要hǎo好kàn看 、chǎng场miàn面yào要chēng撑de得zhù住 。That's a sharp observation, it's the difference between two generations. The older generation really cares about face and rules: the gift has to be substantial, nicely wrapped, and impressive enough to hold up.
118甜甜duì对 ，wǒ我nǎi奶nǎi奶nà那bèi辈 ，zǒu走qīn亲qī戚dà大bāo包xiǎo小bāo包de地līn拎 ，hǎo好xiàng像ná拿de得yuè越duō多yuè越yǒu有miàn面zi子 。Yeah, my grandma's generation lugs big bags around when they visit relatives, like the more you carry the more face you have.
119阿杰méi没cuò错 。dàn但wǒ我men们nián年qīng轻rén人xiàn现zài在gèng更kàn看zhòng重shí实yòng用hé和xīn心yì意 。yǔ与qí其sòng送yī一duī堆yòng用bù不shàng上de的dōng东xī西 ，bù不rú如sòng送duì对fāng方zhēn真zhèng正xū需yào要de的 。Exactly. But we young people care more about practicality and thoughtfulness now. Rather than a pile of stuff no one uses, give what the person actually needs.
120甜甜jiù就xiàng像wǒ我gěi给péng朋yǒu友sòng送lǐ礼 ，huì会xiān先tōu偷tōu偷kàn看kàn看tā她de的gòu购wù物chē车 ，huò或zhě者gān干cuì脆zhí直jiē接wèn问tā她zuì最jìn近xiǎng想yào要shén什me么 。Like when I give a friend a gift, I secretly peek at her shopping cart first, or just straight-up ask what she's been wanting lately.
121阿杰zhè这jiù就shì是xīn新yī一dài代de的sòng送lǐ礼fāng方shì式 ，gèng更zhí直jiē接 ，yě也gèng更shěng省shì事 。hái还yǒu有yī一gè个dà大biàn变huà化 ，jiù就shì是diàn电zi子hóng红bāo包 。That's the new generation's way of gifting, more direct and less hassle. And there's another big change: digital red packets.
122甜甜diàn电zi子hóng红bāo包 ！xiàn现zài在guò过nián年 ，wǒ我jī基běn本dōu都shì是zài在shǒu手jī机shàng上qiǎng抢hóng红bāo包 、fā发hóng红bāo包 ，dōu都bù不yòng用xiàn现jīn金le了 。Digital red packets! At New Year now I basically grab and send red packets on my phone, no cash at all.
123阿杰duì对 ，gé隔zhe着píng屏mù幕diǎn点yī一xià下 ，hóng红bāo包jiù就dào到le了 。fāng方biàn便shì是fāng方biàn便 ，dàn但lǎo老rén人jiā家hái还shì是jué觉de得 ，hóng红zhǐ纸bāo包zhe着de的cái才yǒu有nián年wèi味ér儿 、cái才yǒu有chéng诚yì意 。Right, one tap through the screen and the money's there. It's convenient, sure, but older folks still feel that only real red paper has the holiday spirit and the sincerity.
124甜甜zhè这dào倒shì是 。wǒ我yé爷yé爷měi每nián年hái还shì是jiān坚chí持yòng用zhēn真de的hóng红bāo包 ，shuō说shǒu手jī机shàng上nà那gè个méi没yǒu有ná拿zài在shǒu手lǐ里de的gǎn感jué觉 。True. My grandpa still insists on real envelopes every year, he says the ones on your phone don't feel like anything in your hand.
125阿杰suǒ所yǐ以nǐ你kàn看 ，sòng送lǐ礼zhè这jiàn件shì事 ，yī一biān边zài在biàn变 ，yī一biān边yòu又bǎo保liú留zhe着yī一xiē些lǎo老guī规jǔ矩 。biàn变de的shì是xíng形shì式 ，bù不biàn变de的shì是nà那fèn份xīn心yì意hé和rén人qíng情 。So you see, gift-giving is changing on one hand while keeping some old rules on the other. What changes is the form; what stays is the thought and the human warmth behind it.
126甜甜bù不guò过wǒ我yě也tīng听rén人shuō说 ，xiàn现zài在sòng送lǐ礼yǒu有shí时hòu候huì会biàn变chéng成yī一zhǒng种pān攀bǐ比 ，nǐ你sòng送de得guì贵 ，wǒ我jiù就yào要sòng送de得gèng更guì贵 ，yā压lì力tè特bié别dà大 。But I've also heard that gift-giving can turn into a competition, you give something expensive, so I have to give something even pricier. It's a lot of pressure.
127阿杰zhè这shì是gè个hěn很xiàn现shí实de的wèn问tí题 。sòng送lǐ礼yī一dàn旦biàn变chéng成pān攀bǐ比 ，jiù就shī失qù去le了tā它běn本lái来de的yì意yì义 。suǒ所yǐ以xiàn现zài在yě也yǒu有yuè越lái来yuè越duō多de的rén人tí提chàng倡 ，sòng送lǐ礼bié别dǎ打zhǒng肿liǎn脸chōng充pàng胖zi子 ，liàng量lì力ér而xíng行jiù就hǎo好 。That's a very real problem. Once gifting becomes a competition, it loses its whole point. That's why more and more people say: don't stretch beyond your means just for show, give within what you can afford.
128甜甜dǎ打zhǒng肿liǎn脸chōng充pàng胖zi子 ？zhè这gè个shuō说fǎ法hǎo好xíng形xiàng象 。"Slap your face swollen to look fat"? What a vivid expression.
129阿杰jiù就shì是míng明míng明méi没nà那me么duō多qián钱 ，wèi为le了miàn面zi子yìng硬chēng撑 ，bǎ把zì自jǐ己de的liǎn脸dǎ打zhǒng肿 ，zhuāng装chéng成yī一gè个pàng胖zi子 。sòng送lǐ礼zuì最jì忌huì讳de的 ，jiù就shì是wèi为le了miàn面zi子chāo超chū出zì自jǐ己de的néng能lì力 ；yǒu有duō多shǎo少lì力 ，jiù就shǐ使duō多shǎo少lì力 ，zhè这cái才jiào叫liàng量lì力ér而xíng行 。It means when you don't really have the money but push yourself for the sake of face, slapping your own face swollen to look plump. The worst thing in gift-giving is overreaching just for face; do as much as your means allow, and that's what "act within your ability" means.
130甜甜shuō说de得tài太duì对le了 。sòng送lǐ礼shì是wèi为le了ràng让guān关xì系gèng更hǎo好 ，bù不shì是wèi为le了ràng让zì自jǐ己gèng更lèi累 。So true. Gifts are meant to make relationships better, not to wear yourself out.
131阿杰nǐ你zhè这jù句huà话 ，jiǎn简zhí直kě可yǐ以dàng当jīn今tiān天de的zǒng总jié结le了 。That line could honestly be today's summary.
132阿杰nà那wǒ我jiù就lái来jiǎn简dān单zǒng总jié结yī一xià下jīn今tiān天de的nèi内róng容 。shǒu首xiān先shì是jìn禁jì忌 ，zhōng钟 、sǎn伞 、lí梨 、xié鞋 ，hái还yǒu有lǜ绿mào帽zi子 ，zhè这xiē些dōu都bù不néng能luàn乱sòng送 。Let me do a quick recap of today. First, the taboos: clocks, umbrellas, pears, shoes, and green hats, you can't give those carelessly.
133甜甜yīn因wèi为tā它men们de的xié谐yīn音 ，huò或zhě者hán含yì义bù不jí吉lì利 。Because of their homophones or unlucky meanings.
134阿杰dì第èr二shì是hóng红bāo包hé和fèn份zi子qián钱 ，bié别bāo包dài带sì四de的 ，liù六hé和bā八zuì最tǎo讨xǐ喜 ；cān参jiā加hūn婚lǐ礼suí随fèn份zi子 ，bié别wàng忘le了lǐ礼shàng尚wǎng往lái来 。Second, hongbao and wedding money: no fours, six and eight are the most welcome; when you attend a wedding you give your share, and don't forget reciprocity.
135甜甜dì第sān三shì是shōu收lǐ礼yào要huì会shuō说kè客tào套huà话 ，lái来jiù就lái来 ，hái还dài带shén什me么dōng东xī西 ，tài太pò破fèi费le了 ，zuǐ嘴shàng上tuī推 ，xīn心lǐ里měi美 。Third, when receiving gifts you use polite phrases, "you came, you didn't need to bring anything," "you really shouldn't have," refusing with your mouth while beaming inside.
136阿杰dì第sì四shì是kàn看rén人sòng送lǐ礼 ，kàn看bìng病bié别sòng送dài带bái白sè色de的huā花 ，zuò做kè客bié别kōng空shǒu手 ，sòng送lǐng领dǎo导zhòng重zài在hé合shì适 、bù不zài在guì贵 。Fourth, tailor the gift to the person: no white flowers for a sick visit, don't show up empty-handed as a guest, and for a boss it's about being appropriate, not expensive.
137甜甜zuì最hòu后 ，yě也shì是zuì最zhòng重yào要de的yī一tiáo条 ，sòng送lǐ礼sòng送de的shì是xīn心yì意 ，bié别pān攀bǐ比 ，bié别dǎ打zhǒng肿liǎn脸chōng充pàng胖zi子 。And last, the most important one: a gift is about the thought, don't compete, and don't overstretch just for show.
138阿杰zǒng总jié结de得fēi非cháng常hǎo好 ，kàn看lái来nǐ你jīn今tiān天zhēn真de的xué学dào到le了 。Great summary, looks like you really learned something today.
139甜甜nà那bì必xū须de的 ！wǒ我gǎn感jué觉wǒ我xiàn现zài在yǐ已jīng经cóng从yī一gè个sòng送lǐ礼xiǎo小bái白 ，shēng升jí级chéng成bàn半gè个zhuān专jiā家le了 。Absolutely! I feel like I've gone from a total gifting newbie to half an expert.
140阿杰hā哈hā哈 ，nà那xià下cì次zài再sòng送lǐ礼 ，kě可qiān千wàn万bié别zài再mǎi买zhōng钟le了 。Haha, well next time you give a gift, whatever you do, don't buy a clock.
141甜甜fàng放xīn心ba吧 ，zhōng钟zhè这gè个zì字wǒ我zhè这bèi辈zi子dōu都wàng忘bù不liǎo了le了 。duì对le了 ，rú如guǒ果nǐ你men们guó国jiā家yě也yǒu有tè特bié别de的sòng送lǐ礼xí习sú俗 ，huò或zhě者yǒu有shén什me么dōng东xī西shì是bù不néng能sòng送de的 ，yī一dìng定yào要zài在píng评lùn论qū区gào告sù诉wǒ我men们 。Don't worry, I'll never forget the word "clock" as long as I live! Oh, and if your country has its own special gift-giving customs, or things you're not supposed to give, be sure to tell us in the comments.
142阿杰duì对 ，wǒ我men们tè特bié别hào好qí奇 ，bù不tóng同de的wén文huà化lǐ里 ，dào到dǐ底cáng藏zhe着duō多shǎo少yǒu有yì意sī思de的guī规jǔ矩 。Yeah, we're really curious how many interesting rules are hidden in different cultures.
143甜甜xǐ喜huān欢wǒ我men们jié节mù目de的huà话 ，bié别wàng忘le了diǎn点zàn赞 、dìng订yuè阅 ，bǎ把shì视pín频fēn分xiǎng享gěi给zhèng正zài在xué学zhōng中wén文de的péng朋yǒu友 。If you enjoy our show, don't forget to like and subscribe, and share the video with a friend who's learning Chinese.
144阿杰nà那jīn今tiān天jiù就liáo聊dào到zhè这lǐ里 ，zhù祝dà大jiā家sòng送lǐ礼sòng送dào到xīn心kǎn坎lǐ里 ，shōu收lǐ礼shōu收dào到shǒu手fā发ruǎn软 。That's all for today. May your gifts always land right in the heart, and may you receive so many your hands go numb.
145甜甜wǒ我men们xià下qī期zài再jiàn见 ，jì记zhù住lou喽 ，sòng送lǐ礼yǒu有jiǎng讲jiū究 ，xīn心yì意zuì最zhòng重yào要 ！See you next time, and remember, gifts have their rules, but the thought matters most!