在饭馆点菜

It is twelve o'clock, midday, and I am sitting in a small restaurant. The server is standing right beside me with a notepad in her hand, waiting for me to order.

I am Xiao Yue, and I run a tiny dessert shop in Hangzhou. Today I am not talking about cake. I want to take you out to a restaurant and teach you how to order.

The moment you walk in, the server will ask you: how many? She is asking how many people are in your group. Today I came with my friend Xiao Lin, so I said: two of us. When it is busy you also have to take a number at the door first and sit and wait until they call you.

As soon as we sat down she brought over two cups of hot tea. We drank our tea and flipped through the menu, which had a photo of almost every dish.

But a lot of restaurants do not use paper menus any more. There is a little code stuck on the table. You scan it with your phone, the menu comes up, and you can take your time and order yourself.

There is one thing you really need to know. While you are ordering, the server will often just stand there beside you and wait. She is not rushing you. That is simply how it is done here.

If you have not decided yet, you can say: we need another minute. She will walk away and come back to ask you again a few minutes later.

Ordering in China is very different from a lot of countries. The dishes are not one portion per person. They go in the middle of the table and everybody eats them together.

So how many dishes you order really matters. An easy rule: order one dish for each person, then add one more. That is usually just right.

While we order we also check the balance: something with meat, something green, and ideally a soup as well. That way the meal does not end up too greasy.

And here is something a lot of foreigners do not know: you have to order the rice yourself. If you do not ask, the server will not bring you any.

So I usually add: two bowls of rice. In some places rice is very cheap and you can keep refilling it. When you finish a bowl, just ask for another one.

When it comes to ordering, the hardest part is really the chilli. You need to remember these next few words. Learn them, and your tongue will thank you.

A little bit spicy is what we call wei la. The one in the middle is zhong la. Really, really spicy is te la, and I have never once dared to order it.

If you cannot handle chilli at all, say: bu yao la, no chilli. If you just want less, say: shao fang la, go easy on the chilli. Say it clearly and the kitchen really will listen.

Once the food is ordered we just sit and wait. If you want something else, put your hand up and call out: fu wu yuan! Say it good and loud. Nobody here thinks that is strange at all. Some people even call out mei nu or shuai ge, beautiful or handsome.

The order the food arrives in is often unpredictable. The cold dishes come first, the hot ones arrive one at a time as they are cooked, and the soup sometimes turns up last of all.

If there is a round turntable in the middle of the table, do not stand up to reach the far dishes. Give it a gentle turn and the food comes round to you.

Two small things before you eat. That sealed bowl and pair of chopsticks on the table is actually something a lot of places charge for, usually two yuan per person.

Tissues are the same. Use them and you pay for them. If you would rather not, you can tell the server: we will not be using these, please take them away.

When the meal is over and you want to pay, Chinese people have three ways to say it. Northerners usually say jie zhang, southerners prefer mai dan, and over in Guangdong you will hear mai dan, the Cantonese version.

All three mean exactly the same thing, and whichever one you use, the server will understand you. Put your hand up and call out: fu wu yuan, mai dan!

The funny part comes next. Two Chinese friends will often fight over who gets to pay. Everyone wants to treat, and some people will even get up out of their seat for it.

Today, of course, I lost that fight. Xiao Lin said this one was on her and I could get the next one. And just like that, we had a reason to meet again.

If there is food left on the table, do not feel awkward. You can just say: could you box this up for me. The leftovers are perfectly good at home.

The server will bring over a few small boxes and pack the dishes up one by one. Some places charge one yuan a box, some give them to you free. In China, taking food home is not embarrassing at all. Wasting it is what looks bad.

The sun is bright when we step back outside. I have the bag of leftovers in one hand, a very full stomach, and a really good mood to go with it.

Back home, Xiao Hua catches the smell and comes running straight over, circling the bag several times. All right, that is everything for today. Next time you order in a Chinese restaurant, you will not panic even a little.